Day 27

Royal Wedding 1
　
There’s a wedding so I’m told - Saxe-Coburg-Gotha's got a hold
Of some leggy girl called Kate who’s Middle-ton class
She’s giving Wills her hand, let’s hope what she has planned
Is to do a Di and fuck him up the arse.
I really get irate at the thought of Will and Kate
Getting hitched in regal splendour with my dosh
It's not like I can stop 'em, ring the tax office and shop 'em
Cuz it seems it isn't thieving if you're posh.
　
Royal Wedding 2 (by numbers)

35 sniffer dogs on the day, but I can smell my money from here
5,000 peals of the Abbey bells - but they won't drown out our good cheer
187 horses will be on parade - that's an awful lot of manure.
100 million pints of beer 'll be downed - I'm republican, I'll need slightly more
2 choirs, 1 orchestra, 2 fanfare 'teams' - so are we all up for some jamming?
120 miles of bunting at Tesco - that's plenty enough for a hanging
1,900 guests 'll be there but don't worry - you've not got an invite
You get Huw Edwards chatting hours of shit - with just the 10 seconds of sound bite
A 20% chance of thunder, and lightening too with some luck
And unnumbered tiers on the wedding cake - for each way I don't give a fuck